Office Assistants: I have two shadows in life that act as my art studio assistants – two pups that I adopted from my mother a few years back. Their quirky behaviors and odd tendencies were firmly baked when I got them. This has led me to another lesson in life – love someone or something for what they are and not what you want them to be.
Brownie has imprinted on me in the most glorious, co-dependent kind of way. She is a not-so-attractive pittie with saggy boobs and quite possibly the worst breath I’ve ever smelled from a dog. She goes by the names: Brownie, Brown Bear, Boobs, Trash Mouth Tudy, Bear-Bear and Boo. Brownie enjoys sleeping on the pillow with me, jumping on the couch right after eating so she can burp right in your face and smacking her mouth for 20 minutes after she comes in from being outside like she just ate a jar of peanut butter (what is she eating out there? Poop? Who is to say?). Also, for some weird reason, her head always smells like a corn tortilla chip. Despite all these fun personality quirks, she is, by far, the most loving and affectionate dog to enter my life. There isn’t a moment in the day (or night) she isn’t on me or right next to me.
Elke is a gorgeous Weimaraner that has a licking fetish that drives everyone in my house bananas. Like full-on meltdown status is brought on by her incessant licking. She can’t be left alone in a bedroom or she will rip up the sheets with her aggressive nesting followed by passionate pillow licking sessions. She enjoys eating the encaustic wax chunks off my art studio floor. Also, and not to keep you from falling deeply in love with her, Elke only drinks water out of the toilet. She has a determined spirit to her, so she clearly figured out how to lift the toilet seat to drink whenever she wants. And right after she drinks out of the toilet 5 times an hour, she does this obnoxious gagging noise that can be heard from the other side of the house. She particularly enjoys making the loud gagging noise when I’m on large conference calls.
As you can tell, they are both pretty disgusting, but I am obsessed with them. And when I say them, I mean mostly Brownie. I know you aren’t supposed to announce your favorite fur child out loud, but I can’t help it. Brownie doesn’t even like when I leave her to use the ladies room. No one has ever loved me the way she does and I’m grateful for our unhealthy relationship.
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